We All Need Some Titanic Moments

Ok, so I'm not a big fan of Titanic. I admit, I saw it twice when it came out, and have watched parts when it's on TV. I have never cried when Jack sinks into the ocean, sorry. However, one of my favorite parts of the movie is at the end. When Rose speaks of Jack's encouragement to do many things in her life, and the camera spans past the pictures of her life. Many women I know were married very young. It seems like when this happens, we quickly become immersed in children and balancing everything out. But my heart hurts for women that live life afraid of living. There are many things in a female's life that require bravery and courage. One of my favorite quotes is from the movie Bounce..."It's not brave if you're not scared." I think this is very true. Our minds sometimes hurt at the thought of trying things that are scary.
My friend Mary of the Sweet Mary blog has taught me by her own example to not be afraid. She has lived all over the world, she moved to Rhode Island alone after her divorce to attend culinary school. And she was not afraid to move back to Maryland after to start yet again a new adventure. I remember telling her I was moving, and that I was petrified to drive the moving truck. She told me to go for it, and have fun doing it! And I did, and now, I would do it anytime.
This past Sunday, I got to ride on the back of a motorcyle. I was afraid, I'll admit. But that's why I wanted to try it. And I loved it. It's one of those activities that entirely clears your mind of thoughts, even if it's just for half an hour. Between the sound of the Harley and the cool autumn weather, it was so exhilirating. I love these Titanic moments, and I wish for every female out there, including Mom...don't be afraid. Be brave and do these things for yourself. They make you stronger, and braver for the next adventure life throws at you.

Pigeon Feathers in the Washer

So got a funny tale...I found a great deal on Craigslist. Thankfully I have washer and dryer hookups in my new building. So I found a washer and dryer for only $100. Craigslist never ceases to amaze me. Some of the content is completely nuts and so honest about how the general public acts and thinks. But you can also find the greatest deals. Usually whatever you're looking for is there. Including the apartment I found!
So my father and I went to pick up the appliances locally, no problems. We cart it through the scary I know there's dead bodies buried under here dirt floor in the basement. (Gotta love New England Houses!)We could not hook up the dryer, because of course it has the wrong giant 3-pronged plug. We hook up the washer, I clean it up, throw some cleaning product in, and start a wash. It runs! No problems, and I have to say I was quite proud of my purchase. While we're waiting for the wash to run through, my dad lifts to cover of the washer. All around the tub of the washer, there are feathers! It looked like a bird got trapped in there and panicked. A battle-field of feathers. My dad proceeds to say, it looks like pigeon feathers! I felt sick to my stomach. I looked below for a dead pigeon body. I smelled for rotting bird. Nothing. The wash runs through, and my dad says he will bring his Shop-Vac over and get rid of the feathers so they don't smell.
He leaves, and about 20 minutes later the phone rings. He is laughing, and says he told my mom about the pigeon. My mother straightens him out quickly. "I don't think so. Someone tried to wash a goose-down pillow." I have to say my stomach hurt from laughing over our stupidity. I mean, how could a bird get inside a washer? I don't know what we were thinking...

I can't wait to go food shopping...

So, yes, big news, Boomerang chick is moving out! No more stories of living in prison...oops I mean with the family. I'm sure I can still come up with some good tales, don't worry. So I found a place, and despite the unknowns of work this year am forging forward to my very own space again. I have to say I have not felt this happy in months. The monetary disadvantage is far outweighed by the financial discount of my situation, let me tell you. I decided on a place, not because it was in a super trendy area near downtown Providence, but in my very own hometown that I swore again and again I would not move back to. Hey, sometimes we go home, what can I say. Time goes by, wounds heal, and we are able to make a free choice and are happy with it. I followed advice from Rent My Space on HGTV, and it has 80% of the major facets I wanted. I can't wait to move.
I also can't wait to go food shopping. To come home, put things in the refridgerator. Even if it looks empty, it's wonderful. And I'm basically starting from scratch, so I can buy whatever I want! I can't wait.
Just the decision is making me feel like myself again, so I want to start adding fashion pieces on my blog. I had a fashion blog a couple of years back. It was fun and there were always lots of comments. So be on the lookout...

A Simpler Life is Not For Everyone

To answer my woes of the stress of living with family, I posted an ad on Craigslist in mid-July offering dog and housesitting as a service. I received a request from a lovely girl that is living in Southern RI with her fiance. They needed someone to watch their very sweet dog Tika. So voila, here I am. I've been here five days, and I have to say I am starting to feel like my old self again being by myself, buying my own food, and controlling my own temperature (for the most part-New England had a heat wave last week).
The house here is a sort of cottage that is quaint, pretty, architectural and interesting. It's in a quiet wooded area, and it's very peaceful. The first night I thought I was going to be attacked by the 750,000 different bugs that come to life after dusk. By the fifth day, I'm used to the sounds and actually find them very relaxing.
The couple that lives here live very simply. I've not grown used to this, and have decided this type of life is not for everyone. I don't consider myself overly materialistic or high maintenance. But I did feel greedy when I first arrived. There is no television. I've gone without cable, but not without television. I've found I don't mind it due to having online viewing via my Netflix account. Which means I don't think I could go without tv.
It's not just the absence of tv that makes me feel this is simple living. It's basic furniture, basic cleaning and makeup items, and very basic clutter. There is one knife for use in the kitchen. There is one baking pan. The bed is from Ikea. There is something comforting in it all, but I find I miss my things even more this week. I stored the majority of my things in storage while residing with my family. Now, if the storage place burned down, or if I had to move suddenly without getting my things out, I would be ok. But I am also looking forward to getting my things out. I think it will feel like I went shopping or got lots of presents. Maybe others would look at my things as simple, I don't know. But we all have our space, our items, and we enjoy them however simple or not-so-simple they may be.

One very simple thing I've enjoyed the past two days-the ocean is a cool fifteen minutes away. It is one simple thing in life I can always find joy in.

I May Be Over My Writer's Block...

I had a momentary lapse of writers block last week. My family had gone away for a week, and after their return it bummed me out a little. I felt guilty for this, but the time spent alone reminded me of how much I missed it. Not that I want to live entirely alone, but living with family is very different than a roommate or a signifigant other that we enjoy and also that respects our space.
With this in mind I've determined to find my own space again, before I am driven to madness. Last week I felt slightly down at their return, this week I feel downright on edge. Do you ever have those moments when you're looking at yourself from above, and you're completely feeling like you're in the Twilight Zone? Ahhhhh! Yes, I felt that when we had a family discussion-slash-slight intervention about the refridgerator and leaving ceiling fans on. This is what it's like when you live with someone who is elderly. So if you're contemplating it, just picture coming home to an 80 degree home and when you comment on it, you are given the reply, "Why, is it hot out?" Yeah. Anyways.
I have such a hard time with the expectations I've had on what I expected for my life. The storybook sort of situation I anticipated for so long while growing up is so far fetched now, it really bums me out and I have to stop thinking about it. I actually had to delete someone I knew on Facebook who provides a daily update of how loved she feels from her husband and how much fun she has with her kids. Sometimes we have to realize what brings us down and we have to take control over it. I battle feeling bad for feeling envious of this, because I am happy for anyone who has a good home and good situation. There are far too many people that do not, so anyone who does, I smile for you and pray I will have a little of that normalcy someday. But that is what is normal to me, and not everyone wants that. So whatever you want, I hope you receive it. Even if it means you want to live with grandma.

Watching the Wants

Things we want are way too convenient and available in this day and age. The mentality of my generation and credit card use has engineered a group that quickly buys new hair products, makeup, clothing, and many many accessories. I once saw a blip on the news about the amount of coffee a Generation X female bought in a week. She bought two in the morning, one with her daily $7.00 lunch. The total spent every week was approximately $90 a week, and this didn't include the weekend!

I am not always the money savvy chick I'd like to be, I'll admit. It's all too easy for me to be at Target and easily spend fifty dollars, go home, and wonder what I bought. Often it's new lotions, new underwear, new cleaning products, new hair gel. But when I get home, I have nearly full bottles on the shelf already! When's the last time you actually had one bottle of hair gel, squeezed out the last bit, and didn't have another bottle waiting? Even the Depression girl, my grandmother, has multiple giant sizes of mouthwash. How much will she ever use?

I can proudly say I think I've become a little better over the years. For example, all the way to work this morning I wanted a low-fat turkey bacon at Starbucks. Instead of meditatively thinking about joys in my life or the tasks I needed to do today at work, I went back and forth about eight times on whether I should get a Cafe Mocha and my sandwich. In the last ten seconds before taking the left to work told myself to go have cereal from my stash at work. I was proud of myself.

Also, at the beginning of the summer I bought a trial kit of spf face lotions for $20. I thought it was a great deal. It came with fifteen small size lotions, and I've found they lasted about three weeks each. I'm still using the remaining few, and have saved myself from buying a $45 bottle I didn't really care for since it's given me the chance to try brands I've always wanted to.

I haven't been able to master this with shoes, but I've been pretty good this summer. It's unbelievable how quickly we spend our hard earned money. The credit world has created some ugly spending monsters. I've noticed if I carry cash, I spend it much more frugally than even using instant cash from a debit card. It's small progress, but I'm really trying to work on watching the wants.

Staying Positive

Did you know if you google "positive thinking" it lends to 45,200,000 hits? I've been jokingly saying to friends lately that everyone I know is either crazy, or has discovered they are physically sick in some way. Particularly lately in the economy we are in, there is a level of stress in the air I don't think I've seen before. It's very hard to stay positive when you have family stress, your job is unstable, and the bills never go down.
Being the boomerang chick that I am (aka living with my parents, with no home to call of my own, amongst other things), I find it difficult to be a positive person. I discovered in the past few years that I probably have had a form of depression my whole life. Life's changes are difficult, and I don't always deal with them very well. I tend to dwell on the negative. A LOT. Negative Nelly, that's me.
So I've decided this week to write down some positives I can focus on. Instead of re-thinking of all I don't have, here's what I can do:

I don't a house of my own yet. But I have a place to go everynight that is always warm, safe, and secure. My heart goes out to the approximate 4M U.S. families that do not, and I remind myself to appreciate this every day.

If I don't ever get married again, I can live with my parents paying cheap rent, and I can make next year my year of Europe travel.

I'm still not a mother. But I can borrow a friend's child, get completely exhausted and cranky like parents do, but I get give them back at the end of the day!

Even if I'm not done college, there is still time to finish. And I will, no matter how old!

I don't have the sparkling, wonderful career that so many have, but I have the exact car I have always wanted.

I don't always like how I look, and what I weigh, but I have good health, and can go to my spin classes all I want.

My brother has not been nice to my family the past few years, and has made me cry for my mother alot. But I have a lot of really nice people in my life that remind me they think of me often.

I'm slightly dimented by my parents, but really, now, Stacy, who ISN'T?

And if all else fails, whenever I buy a pair of shoes I somehow feel better, at least for that day.